DIDN’T KNOW I WAS LOST

Crossing Boulevard

with Michelle

DIDN’T KNOW I WAS LOST 

I’ve gotten lost a lot in the past three and a half weeks. Richmond is a confusing area. If trying to make it between two places isn’t confusing enough for you, try to work in Glen Allen, worship in the city, live in Midlothian, and explore Carytown and parts of the river on the weekends with friends. For people who have been in Richmond a while (and have an inkling of a good sense of direction), this probably doesn’t seem like a big deal. But for somebody who is new to town, my GPS has been my best friend.   Even with my GPS, I’ve still gotten lost. For one, you can’t use a GPS in the woods. I went out on lunch break one day and explored Meadow Farm- a place I stumbled upon while I was driving to the post office. It’s a cool place with some trails and a pond with a fountain. I went through the woods and made it to the pond to journal for a bit. Then, realizing my hour was almost up, I quickly made my way back through the woods, only to find myself at a retirement community instead of where I had parked my car. I was calm, but confused. I had no clue where I was and definitely hadn’t planned to end up there.   Then the next week, I declared Monday “the day without a GPS” in order to try to immerse and challenge myself in the Richmond area. Long story short, my twenty-five minute commute home turned into an almost two hour commute. In true Michelle fashion, I refused to turn on the GPS, even when I started seeing signs for towns I didn’t even know existed. So I just turned up the radio and went with it. Avicii came on and started singing, “So wake me up when it’s all over, when I’m wiser and I’m older, all this time I was finding myself and I didn’t know I was lost.*”   Sometimes we don’t know we’re lost until we show up in a strange parking lot or see highway signs leading to Northern Virginia. Sometimes our signs are feelings of depression or family systems that seem to be spiraling out of control. Some people may just want to skip over the hard part and wake up when they’re found. But isn’t being lost the biggest part of the experience sometimes? Can’t God work miracles in lost people?   I’m thankful for the grace that is extended to me daily, both literally when I’m lost in Richmond and need to find my way home, or when my heart feels lost and I am searching for a sign and a place to settle in comfort and love. I hear that grace will lead you home**, and for that I’m excited to be a lost, wandering, seeking soul.

*Wake Me Up, Avicii

**Amazing Grace, John Newton